| Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Trading In Your Sanity |
| Written by John Belair |
| Wednesday, 16 December 2009 10:31 |
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The relationship went boom. Maybe with a fizzle, maybe with a whimper, maybe with a slammed doorbut it went. And now you're chasing your own self esteem through the crannies of your mind, wondering "What can I do to get him back?"
The relationship went boom. Maybe with a fizzle, maybe with a whimper, maybe with a slammed doorbut it went. And now you're chasing your own self esteem through the crannies of your mind, wondering "What can I do to get him back?" The first one is assessing how serious you are about restarting or boosting your relationship. Now, you wouldn't be reading this article if you didn't want to do this, but let's step back a moment. If you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling like your world is revolving around your ex, you may be coming across as needy. Nothing, and we do mean nothing, pushes a guy away faster than being needy. So - stop. Give him some space. Trying to make him sorry for you won't make your relationship come back. So stop calling him, stop text messaging him. Stop acting like the lead in an Adam Sandler movie - seriously. They aren't going to help. Focus on this strategy to get what you want. Start with a fresh approach. Break contact for a while, and do your own thing. Have your own life. Remember, a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle; you had a life before he was part of it, you'll have a life now. Focus on doing things that validate you, and make you feel good about yourself. Call your buddies, and go out and do stuff. Nothing was ever solved by sitting at home and moping. Think back to the things that made you attractive to him when you first started dating. Focus on those parts of your life that are yours alone, not some adjunct of couplehood, and above all else - cut him (and yourself) some breathing room. Put a notice on your calendar that you won't talk to him for a month. You won't call him, IM him, text message him, whatever. Then spend that month on some serious 'me' time. Take a different approach. Think about what your life was like before you found this guy. You had friends. You did some pretty cool stuff with them. They're still out there, and you should gang with them and go do something fun. Get the hell out of the house. While you're at it, get his phone number off your cell, don't read his LiveJournal or Facebook profile, don't look into his life. Focus on yours. Learn to cook. Knit a sweater, Volunteer at your local homeless shelter or library. Take up rock climbing or, hell, Dungeons and Dragons. Do things that interest youand when he doesn't hear from you, let the burden be on him to ask what the hell is going on. Who knows, maybe with a bit of time to see who you are without the filter of the breakup, his interest will rekindle. Or maybe you'll decide he wasn't worth all that mess anyway - and you'll have learned something about yourself. Either way, keep yourself grounded, focused on the things that make your life fun with nobody else in it and hang out with your buddies. And stop asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back". Oh, and you can put that annoying Alanis Morisette CD back on the rack. It's served it's purpose. About the Author: In order to get your ex back, make sure you have a strategy that you are set to implement. Follow this link to discover a proven way to win back your ex and rekindle your relationship! |